Shinigami (死神?, “death god” or “death spirit”) is an entity in Japanese folklore that is responsible for seeing that a person dies at their appointed time and then guiding their spirit to be judged in the afterlife. — As defined by Wikipedia
Many people do ask me why saint shinigami.. of all the pen names available, why shinigami? and there’s this one question that retains in my mind that I never answered, why shinigami, you love God right? Now let me answer that..
When I was a lot younger I defined my life as deprived from joy, deprived from freedom.. one who can’t speak her mind, one who can’t expressed joy.. that was the time I choose to be called saint shinigami.. I felt extreme sadness and frustration on things I can’t do for I feel deprived for everything.. Growing up behind that pen name wasn’t easy, it felt so sad and felt so cold.. It seems that I hated the world before it hated me..
To summarize it, I associated myself to death, I considered myself dead.. That is how negative shinigami means to me..
That is what I think how dreadful my life is, that is how blinded I am by the lies of the enemy. Until that day God found me running in circles of misery. I learned how blessed I am, how so much joy I can attain from God’s love. Life ain’t that bad after all especially when I let God rule over my life.
So what will happen now to saint shinigami?
As much as I wanted to continue to call myself saint shinigami or just shinigami because of its “astig-ness” sound, it won’t fit me anymore. I know how Jesus died for my salvation, for me to live and accept the gift of eternal life. I don’t want to live my life as if I’m dead, I’m no zombie but a princess in my God’s eyes. I know how He has set me apart to live a bountiful, happy and blessed life.
But I said to you, “You will possess their land; I will give it to you as an inheritance, a land flowing with milk and honey.” I am the Lord your God, who has set you apart from the nations. – Leviticus 20:24 (NIV)
So long saint shinigami, you no longer live in me, I will no longer hide at your back. I choose to live in faith, with my Father who gave me eternal life.
Hmmm… now what pseudonym will I call myself??hehehe